The Wrath of the Con:
A Hard-Rocking, Weird-Science Faery Tale
About Fandom, Friendship, and Strangely Ever-After,
by William A. Hainline
I wrote a book. Well, “wrote” is the wrong tense of the word. So how about this: I am, at the moment, writing a book as we speak. (Well, as you read this; because technically, this is just a one-way conversation.) It’s called “The Wrath of the Con.” What’s it about? Well, thematically, its about fandom; imagination; geekdom; and, it’s about, as Craig Ferguson so brilliantly put it, “intellect and romance triumphing over brute force and cynicism.” In short, it’s about how cool it is to be a geek, and how awesome it would be (well, not really, I guess) if the world were ending, and a small band of geeks were the only ones who could save us from destruction.
”Okay, yeah,” I hear you saying, “but what’s it actually about? What’s the story?”
Well…
You’re late! But welcome anyway, stranger. A madcap, maverick inventor of minor miracles, Gadget Anders, along with his hacker friend and roommate Mystikite, and Mystikite’s med-student girlfriend Zoe, decide to attend this year’s edition of the 24/7 party (Or is it a shindig? Or more of a hootenanny? Or perhaps even a hoe-down, of sorts?), FantazamagoriCon XVIII: Where “un-ironic” love rules supreme, the odds are never in your favor, and lots of Aftershock gets consumed. And oh yeah: Where Gadget‘s (and those of others) technomagickal creations might just rip holes in reality! For this year the Con is haunted, festered up with the ghosts of geek-dreams past. (Though don’t forget all the very-real Vampires, Aliens, Zomies, Werewolves, and Unseelie Fae Critters that lurk within!) It is a place of wild magic, nightmares, and y’know, generally, a lot of other weird sh__. Gadget and his friends (who of course include his rock-star-like, mad-scientisty, superheroine-ish, and presumptively-future girlfriend, Dizzy) soon stumble onto an alien invasion and some cranky Elder Gods. Not to mention that they sort of walk up to Dizzy’s arch-nemesis, the supervillain Morchon, and his own “Dark Passenger” from stars (stars that just look eleven shades of just-not -right, man) and poke him with a sharp stick. So Unbuckle your straightjacket, Buttercup (and/or Dorothy), ‘cause Floren? (And/or Kansas?) Is goin bye-bye! And while you’re at it, grab your sonic screwdriver, your flux capacitor, and/or your oscillation overthuster, Or maybe just hang onto your cosplay’s latex pants (if it has pants, that is . . . if not, well, eww!) Because this year at FantasmagoriCon, you’re in for the best HELL of a ride ever!
Now, please. put this book down! We warn you! For at this very moment, the mirrorshades and Mundanes have a laser beam pointed at your darling little head! And they dare you to run, head first, into a world where Intellect and Romance might just conquer Brute Force and Cynicism! Though in all fairness, our heroes do use a lot of brute force, and a lot of parenthetical phrasing along with it - plus some remarks that could be ruled as intellectual assault - in their wild battle to save the human race (y’know, like a certain song says that a duck from space once did that one time in the 1980’s. Cocaine, man. It’s a hell of a drug, isn’t it.) And just remember: As Barry Levinson and Robin Williams taught us in 1992, “Laughter is a state of mind.” And, as Buckaroo once said one day in 1986, in New Jersey: “No matter where you go, there you are.” So just remember: You were warned, dear reader, you were warned!
This is the cover art. Like it? I did it myself using Daz Studio Pro, Adobe Photoshop, and Autodesk Maya, three of my favorite software applications. You can read more about those on the “Software I Like To Use” page. If you want to see more of my digital art, visit my DeviantArt gallery, or the “my visions: 3D and Digital Art” page.
This novel is unique in that when it’s done (or sometime thereabouts), it’s going to have a soundtrack, with music and lyrics by yours truly, performed by my computer systems, and, with vocals by the inimitable and wonderful Rommy Driks. (To find out more about Rommy, and her book, The Trouble With Wanting (And Other Not-Quite-Faery Tales), visit her blog, Kestrel’s Rhythm and Groove, or look her up on Amazon.) As for the novel’s soundtrack, well, you can listen to the instrumental version of one of the songs I’ve created right now, on SoundCloud. Remember, it does have lyrics; Rommy just hasn’t gifted the music with her lovely voice belting them out Pat Benatar style, is all.
Here’s the music. Remember — this entire thing was composed one note at a time, with and performed and produced upon an iMac Pro by just one person — yours truly. So if you hate it, there’s no one to blame but me: